I give up. and so I get more done.

My kids won't listen. I get angry and yell. They still won't listen, but
now they feel I'm mean. I'm frustrated. So I give up. I can't make them
do anything.

I tell them they can do what they want and don't have to listen to me
and that they are responsible for themselves this evening.

Or they could make a deal to do what I ask and then I'd tell them what
to do -- no whining, no pouting, no argument even if you disagree.

That whiff of anarchy is all it took.

They both chose structure and that was that.

We made up, they went to sleep tired and calm.

We'll see what tomorrow brings.